A former colleague of mine just did, apparently. I hadn't seen him for several years, and he wasn't a friend, but he was a decent man who when I knew him was to all appearances happily married with three young children. He didn't seem to have more than the ordinary share of misery, in other words. He was also the same age as me, and appointed at the same time. I knew him for seven years, and remember him well. So while I can't pretend I'm devastated by the loss, as we weren't friends, I'm sure that many people are distraught as a result, and it has forced me to reflect.
I don't know why he did it, but in a culture like ours, there seem to be only a limited number of possibilities. One doesn't, any longer, kill oneself for honour or out of shame (even in Japan, my impression is that this is now regarded as eccentric). One might, however, do it because one's marriage had broken down, or because one was facing what seemed like insuperable financial difficulties, or because one was terminally ill anyway, or simply, finally, because one was miserable.
The only one of these reasons that I can regard as a good one relates to terminal illness, in which case suicide can be a positive expression of a refusal to let nature take its course; it is a final act of self-affirmation (as distinct from mere self-assertion, which suicide always presumably is). In the case of severe depression, there are mitigating circumstances; one might be suffering from some sort of physiological disturbance in one's brain chemistry that entailed a temporary loss of rationality, and take tragic action as a result. I can't regard this as having a good reason, but it equally isn't something one could make someone responsible for.
But if suicide is the result of relationship breakdown or financial disaster, I'm afraid I don't approve, not that I'm under any illusion that it makes any difference as to whether I do or I don't. As a couple of rules of thumb, one should never take oneself too seriously or lose one's sense of humour; suicide in these circumstances usually suggests one has committed both errors. The pain of a broken heart can seem unbearable, and money worries can cause enormous stress, but one owes it to others, if not to oneself, to weather the storm.
Assuming my colleague didn't do it because his marriage had failed, he has left his wife and three kids exposed to fortune when they were depending on him; and if he did do it for that reason, he has still deprived his children of their father even though he was estranged from his wife. If he did it over money, there is always the option of bankruptcy; and as an intelligent and educated man who was only in his late thirties, there was still time for him to rebuild his finances. These reasons strike me, in the end, as weak and selfish, and my former colleague didn't seem, when I knew him, to be either of these things. I'd prefer to think that he either knew he was dying anyway, or was temporarily insane.
